Gender Reveal Reflection

gender reveal, Mum, pregnancy, Uncategorized

This week on my Facebook memories, up popped a little reminder that last March, we discovered the gender of my little one. It is bizarre to think that little over a year ago I was still fantasizing about what the identity of my baby would be, and here I am sat with a 7 month old little boy napping on me.

I looked back at a blog I wrote at the time where I expressed my thoughts on gender and the importance, or maybe lack of, when it came to my child. The poignancy of his gender really came down to selfishness- I wanted to know what to picture when imagining my family. I wanted to know whether I was going to be running around with a little Ted or alternatively, a little Daisy (the girls name we had picked out ready).

Often I wonder whether when I have my next child (note the when- not if!) that I’d want to find out. Is that still important to me? Honestly, I would do it every time. I remember describing myself as a chaotic woman camouflaged as an organised one, and as that person I loved preparing for ‘Ted.’ Of course, having a ‘Daisy’ would be ideal… the creation of a perfect nuclear family. However, I also have a lot of boys clothes that could do with being worn again!

Then Im torn. I think, does it actually matter? I’ll be running around fighting with lightsabers and having wizard duels, curling up on winter weekends for Marvel movie marathons (also super thrilled that Disney’s Captain Marvel costume is uni-sex by the way) and that is regardless of who my next little one might be, and who Ted may become. Maybe he will be far too cool for all the nerdy things that me and his dad are interested in.

To quote myself a year ago:

What is important is how we raise our children. Whether male or female, I want Little Olding to grow up with a strong set of morals and to make his/her own choices. Both should learn the importance of love and kindness, respecting everyone regardless of age, race and sexuality and how to be altruistic. How they identify and the interests they choose are down to their own self-awareness and independence. Children should be raised the same, regardless of their gender, and that it what is important.

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Welcome to Mum & Style

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Mum & Style began from the desperation and a little bit of confusion at finding the new ‘me’ in my post-pregnancy, fresh into motherhood state. The first few months as a mother, although full of elation, can also be isolating. My way of dealing with this was sharing my experiences with other mothers- women I believed I could trust, who gave me whole-hearted reassurance. Sometimes I had full support. Sometimes I had criticism and judgement. Sometimes I felt like Wonder Woman- a multi-tasking queen who felt great in this new body with this new identity. Sometimes I felt like a failure- unable to sit down for five minutes to just enjoy a cup of tea, feeling like a blob with this wobbly body, and quite simply, completely lost.

The blog features posts on fashion, lifestyle, and all the complexities that motherhood brings for each unique and individual circumstance. The aim of Mum & Style is to bring together a collection of experiences and thoughts of mums and mums-to-be on an open platform. We wish to offer support in a light-hearted way to those who feel they are alone. By celebrating each other, we can create a safe place for mums to turn to for a boost or a sigh of ‘I’m not the only one!’ relief. We are much stronger together than we are against each other. Happy reading and happy parenting!